On joys big and small

Hi all,

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I’ve been busy, sure — but I think more than that, I’ve felt intimidated by the process of putting my feelings and experiences from the past several weeks into words. I went to journalism school, after all, to learn how to write about other people, not about myself.

Part of the problem is that sometimes I get caught in the trap of thinking that the things worth writing about are the big things, the profound things, the life-changing-living-abroad-travel-blog things. But lately, I’ve been working on carving out a routine for myself, and what I’ve found is a great deal of joy in the small things, the simple things, the things that I would have missed living at home in Arizona. Back home, I was surrounded 24/7 by friends, community, places to go — and in that constant stimulation, it’s easy for little things to get lost.

Here, I’ve found lots to keep busy with (lesson plans and research and working on my community project) — but there are some days I don’t leave my house besides to go to school or the gym, and I spend seven or eight hours working on my computer in the dining room without talking to anyone. In those moments, the quiet moments, the in-between moments, when the noise falls away, it becomes easier to appreciate smaller joys.

So here are some of my small joys: the pineapple with chile I can buy near the boardwalk; the instant coffee that against all odds tastes better than the French press coffee I used to make at home; the photos of my dogs my parents send; the decorated pencil a student brought me as a gift; the sunrises I see when I walk to my 7am classes; The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai, which I recently started reading; the two bars Julia and I recently found that sell IPAs.

And here are some bigger joys:

I saw my friend Ruby, who is working in Chiapas for the year, twice! It’s about 11 hours in two buses and a taxi to get from Carmen to her town, Jaltenango, which is perched in the green, coffee-growing highlands. I visited her there once, and we went on sunset runs, floated down the river, and baked orange-cranberry scones. A few weeks before, we went to Tulum, where we saw ruins on the beach and ate delicious burritos with coconut flour tortillas.

I made homemade gorditas with my tutor, Yazmin, and another teacher we work with, Zena. Zena made the masa and taught Julia and I how to shape the tortillas, which we later stuffed with mushrooms and bacon and chorizo and potatoes. We also made guacamole and  salsa. Later we went to the beach, where we watched sea turtles bob in and out of the waves and then eventually watched the sun dip into the same water. 

Other food highlights include the fact that teachers, students and friends have all brought me tamales now that the rumor has gotten out that they’re my favorite — and also the fact that a friend of mine who works at the university also runs a delicious pasta food truck by night.

I started going to a new gym, one which is significantly less overwhelming than the one at the university. The trainers are very nice, although the trainer I usually work with was not amused when I responded to him yelling “¡No hay dolor, Mia, todo es mental!” by saying, “¡Sí, sí hay dolor!” I’m also learning a lot of new Spanish gym vocab (pantorrilla costurera, jalón cerrado, remo en polea baja) — and everyone is very patient with the fact that my parts-of-the-body vocab is embarrassingly underdeveloped.

I’m starting to get the hang of this teacher thing! Teaching here has been a big adjustment in general for me because my prior teaching experience involved teaching writing to incarcerated adults. Here, I mostly develop speaking activities for students who are English majors, though Julia and I also host our weekly conversation and culture clubs, and I tutor some non-English majors. Some of my favorite activities from the last few weeks have been:

• Decoding the lyrics to “Thriller” as part of a lesson on superstitions/supernatural phenomena
• Listening to clips from This American Life and having students discuss differences in cultural norms (I stole this idea from the State Department’s American English resources)
• Discussing how Democratic presidential candidates are using Spanish in their campaigns and then having students create their own campaign posters for individual candidates
• Practicing job interviews tournament-style
• Sharing writing from incarcerated people published in Iron City Magazine in a lesson on the U.S. criminal justice system

Another awesome part about working at the UNACAR is that there are cultural events all the time. In September, the university hosted a verbena mexicana, which was a large party that featured food, music and dance from states from across Mexico. This week, the university will host an event celebrating the state of Campeche, because October is designated as a month to honor the culture and history of the awesome state I get to call home.

I have a lot of time to think here (about myself and what I want), which is a good thing even though sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. I miss Arizona a lot, I miss the fall, I miss the mountains, I miss the lack of humidity.

When I set out to write this post, I thought I would include my roses, buds and thorns — good things, things I was excited about, and bad things. But after I had written my good things, it felt silly to devote time and space to the bad ones. Of course there are plenty of bad things, there are days when I feel lonely and lost, stressed and anxious. I think it’s important to be honest about those days as well. When I ask my students how they are, they always respond the same: “I’m fine.” Last week, I tried to remind them that if that wasn’t true, if they weren’t fine, then they should feel okay with saying that too. I think it was more a reminder for myself.

So here’s to being honest when we’re not fine — but also to acknowledging the in-between moments, when the world makes room for small joys and it’s up to us to grab onto them.

Hugs,

Mia